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WELCOME TO BEDFORD TRAKTORS TRIATHLON CLUB 2008 SEASON |
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UK Half Ironman 2007 Wimbleball, Somerset Dea Ditchfield completed her hardest race so far on Sunday. The UK Half Ironman 70.3 consists of a 1.2 mile lake swim, a 56 mile bike and a 13.1 mile run all set in the steep hills of Exmoor. After exiting the lake in 33:41 she was faced with a 400m slog up a hill just to get her bike. Once out onto the bike course it was soon obvious how hard the day would be. Much time was spent weaving her way through the many athletes who could only walk up the steepest climbs. After nearly 4 hours of torturous pedalling it was time for the run just a half marathon! If she thought the run would be flatter she was so wrong! Three laps and 2 hours 8 minutes later she crossed the line for an impressive 6:39:39 total. http://www.tri247.com/results_3362.html Royal Windsor Duncan Paterson was in action at Royal Windsor on Sunday. His times of 26:46 -1500m swim, 1:10:06 - 40km bike and 42:24 -10km run gave him a total of 2:19:18 and 80th place overall not bad out of 1591 starters!
Evening underachievers, indolent youths and those
who merely aspire to such greatness.
I bring the pain (bigtime) and joy(zilch) of time
trial numbers.
Sixth BRCC evening league results (plain text):
Race 06
XL spreadsheet (600kb) with all results and
standings
These times and calculations of aggregates are
unofficial but at least I do 'em and get 'em out!
Mistakes, errors, omissions, failures, calumnies,
conspiracies and downright lies are all my own work.
Let me know your grievance and I might deign to
consider your submission.
I'm rarely in the mood to converse with
snivelling jackanapes but you might just get me on a good night.
The last good night was about 5 years ago, you
can but try.
Ho hum - a tough life attempting to please almost
no one most of the time.
All roads lead to the Forum
As always the Evening League results are up on
the
Traks forum which is always a good place to waste lots of
your precious work time so that's business as usual for most of
you then.
Something for the weekend Sir?
Sunday sees the mighty
Bedford Sprint Triathlon race 2 based at Robinson
pool (Bedford Park, top of De Parys Ave).
If you are not attempting race mediocrity, gamely
heckling those who are or still sleeping in the gutter outside
the last bar you were thrown out of come along and marshal. We
promise a wonderful mornings entertainment and work (almost none
of the former, lots of the latter). Fringe benefits include
t-shirt, goodie bag and pizza at Santaniello Sunday evening.
So if you can move at least one limb, grunt (a
little, louder is better) or or stand in one spot for more than
30 seconds you qualify as A-grade marshal material. If you don't
quite make the criteria and many don't there are still ways of
usefully employing your remaining few skills (as an example of
futility perhaps). Battle hardened tri organisers can often
obtain surprising effectiveness out of even the lowest grade
material.
Let me know you can help out or
email Steve - thanks in advance as you won't get them after!
Night to all my fans (it's the little lies that
matter the most and I do them so well).
Max out (because anything else is less).
===============================
groundzero: http://bedfordtraktors.co.uk/
forum fusion http://bedfordtraktors.informe.com/
magnox: maxathome@ntlworld.com
fast breeder: galeforce.com@ntlworld.com
yellowcake: lrattu@sharnbrook.beds.sch.uk
MK Trifest 2nd & 3rd June 2007 A total of 11 Traktors converged on Emberton Park at the weekend to take part in the 2007 Trifest. The weekend consisted of 4 races a 750m swim/5.3k run Aquathlon (National Championships), a 1k swim race and a 10k run all on Saturday afternoon then a World Qualifying Sprint Triathlon (750m/20k/5.3k) on Sunday morning. There was also a prize for the person/lunatic completing all four races in the least time! A great start to the proceedings saw James Elworthy take 2nd in the 30-34 group. Karen Price took 2nd and Carla Fisher 3rd in their group. Steve Young took 3rd in his group.
Next up was the 1000m swim Karen Price was 3rd women in a time of 14:34.
With the sun still beating down it was the 10k run next. Elworthy was going for the Full Monty and this is where he could make up some serious time. Despite the rigours of the previous races came home in 4th place in 35:19 a new PB!
Sunday morning, a new day another race! 8am and nearly 400 triathletes hoping to qualify for the 2008 World Age Group Champs in Canada. Traktors a plenty were brought home by Phil Jenkins who was in 5th place after the swim. He hung on to take 21st place in a very strong field. A tired Elworthy was catching him but ran out of time (and energy) to finish just 4 seconds down in 22nd.
James Elworthy was 2nd overall in the Trifest Challenge. This Sunday sees the 11th annual Bedford Traktors Triathlon. The race consists of a 400m swim at Robinson Pool, 24km bike in north Beds and a 5k run in Bedford Park. The action starts at 7:30am with the presentation at 10:30am.  01June
2007 (was there a year zero)?
Morning (except somehow it became
afternoon) workers, wasters, curs and strays.
I bring numbers and times to enliven the slow
puncture that is the passing of your existence on this oblate
spheroid.
With almost zero sweat, little toil
and negligible effort whatsoever herewith are presented last
nights most exciting enumerations of mediocrity and failure.
I spread the love evenly amongst you so read on:
Fifth BRCC evening league results (plain text):
XL spreadsheet (500kb)
In case you haven't worked it out yet...the XL
sheet link remains constant, I just update it after each race.
So you don't need the latest email to get
your fix!
The individual text results are very similar link
just the name is incremented by one. Doh!
==========================================================================
Life and how it should be lived dept.
the Traktorial 2007 club championships so far are
available...
after 3 events nobody in particular is doing well
and everyone seems to be jockeying for bottom feeder position.
Good on ya! The spirit of disinterested
competition. We are renowned for it.
Great to see so many people excel in something as
challenging as barrel scraping.
Up and coming dept.
2nd Bedford Sprint series Tri Sunday week - 10
June. Need marshally types as always. May the rotting woodwork
you usually crawl out of disgorge you once again in weevilled
droves to help out at Bedfords premier (well almost) sporting
crucible of pain. Anything you can offer on the Saturday
afternoon and Sunday (especially) morning would almost be
appreciated. Get a goodie bag (forget it), a t-shirt (clean your
rusty bike), pizza at Santaniello (whoa dere camel, now you
talkin') all for scratching around for a few hours on Sunday
morning helping other misguided souls upon their triathlic way.
Other possibilities include:
stay in bed; make breakfast; eat breakfast; bring
last nights breakfast back up; walk dog, cat, goldfish, dead
budgie; spend another 3 minutes groping your
partner/dog/cat/goldfish etc; get dressed for a funeral (I'm
sure you can find one to attend); snore loudly and pretend being
asleep;imitate a water buffalo at a mud hole; burn effigies of
the mother in law/children/wife/other relevant individual; tell
children they are adopted and laugh uproariously; you get the
picture...
So that's your Sunday sorted, see you there. let
Steve or myself know you are going to help/hinder/generally get
in the way...
Meaningless drivel dept.
If you want to know what's going on in the
Bedford Tri scene (I love writing this rubbish) the Traks Forum
(oh my, yes we do have one...) is going ballistic. Some threads
even get replies. Some even get read (rumoured). Want to know
what's going down on an hourly basis (sad but true) then click
on thru and sign up at
Check out the latest in troll fashion accessories
and flame retardant underwear.
Discover that open water swimming is alive and
weil in a village near you.
Locate lost buddies and other colleagues you
hoped to have kept forgotten.
Just get into the word action, oh my, oh yes.
I'll have to clean that up later.
Open water swimming dept. Essentials part 1
Enough my little comrades I have reached the
point where I bid you a not so fondue farewell.
Begone! With that he was somewhere else.
Max. Be cause or be effect, just don't sit on the
fence and ruin your corduroys.
===============================
mothership: http://bedfordtraktors.co.uk/
mother tongue http://bedfordtraktors.informe.com/
motherless: maxathome@ntlworld.com
mother: galeforce.com@ntlworld.com
mothers frocks: lrattu@sharnbrook.beds.sch.uk
25 May 2000 and seven of your Earth years.
Only humans would name their planet
"dirt" - makes no sense.
Morning to all you wakey, wakey types
- go back to bed. The rest of you can merely shrink
back from the curtain of life while the cutting edge
of boredom cleaves through the feeble excuse you
have for a life. Onwards my jolly band...
After several minutes slacking last
night I cobbled together some patently preposterous
numbers which cumulatively result in the...
Fourth round BRCC evening league
results (plain text):
XL spreadsheet (500kb)
Errors - several - go tell it on a
mountain.
Omissions - like I care.
Calumnies - like you understand.
Other mysteries - shall remain so.
==================================
Bank Holiday Monday Miller mayhem.
8am Box end lake for swim, bike,
ride.
Then repeat the entire horror at 2pm.
Swim is £4 with various conditions...
Bike is with helmet ( a must).
Run is with legs (mainly).
You really need to sign up for the
Traks forum and read up about this.
Elworthy won the Stevington 12k
but I still like you.
Enough
Max leaving the home for work (a most
rare occurrence).
Bed for kitchen is a more normal
situation.
===============================
eventually:
http://bedfordtraktors.co.uk/
inventive http://bedfordtraktors.informe.com/
uneventful: maxathome@ntlworld.com
nonevent: galeforce.com@ntlworld.com
even tent!
lrattu@sharnbrook.beds.sch.uk
Morning to all pointless members of society
and those of you of even less relevance.
Second BRCC evening league results (plain
text):
XL spreadsheet is available
(but sad and very blank at present - like it's creator)
It will be updated with aggregates and stuff
this weekend.
Times are unofficial.
Any errors/omissions - don't bleat like
a sheep or sit in a corner and cry...just let me know (I
could do with a laugh).
==========================
Do Not Feed The Fish department:
Open water swimming comes to a place near
you!
Saturday 12 May early. 7:45am appear, 8am in
water. Must be out by 9am.
Location: Box End which is between Kempston
and Bromham.
From Kempston turn right for Bromham, pass
cemetery (how appropriate) 500m on right is entrance to
From Bromham take Kemston road and go through
Box End, pass stables, reach open farmland, take left for
Box End Park -
if you reach cemetery you have gone too far (or probably
not depending on condition).
If you just want to try it out then £4.
If you intend to make this a regular
thing (you can swim 7-9am Mon-Sun plus after 9pm) 6
months
membership (form) is £65.
Details on the Box End Park site.
If you want to get a lift, find out who
is going or just waste work time...join the
Traks Forum
NOTE: This is not a Traktor session, you
go as plain vanilla joe public, pay your money and swim
at own risk. I'm providing information so like minded
people can meet up and enjoy the facility, plus there is
an element of safety in numbers.
You should wear a wetsuit and a bright
coloured swimhat., preferably pink (such a now shade) or
puce (the next big thing).
Miller - bless him - intends to ride and
then run after.
This is called a brick session, because
you must be thick as one to do it.
Enough already.
How to spend money...
Just in case it's of any use to any of
you...Lidl (St Peters, Bedford) have about 20 wetsuits
at £25, all sizes.
I know - I bought one today!
They are not swim specific but will do if
you fancy trying open water without to much financial
commitment.
===============================
Max.
Never give a sucker an even break, your money
should suffice.
22 April 2007
12 March 2007
Evening prurilent bacterial oafs, pustulent sores
and festering boils who deserve recognition (and a bloody good
lancing).
I bring forth more rotting decadence for you to
trip over on your way to the khazi...
Running round a muddy field dept.
After the final (third) round of the
Wellingborough MultiTerrain series held around Irchester Country
park a small (read diddy) team of Traks produced yet more
glorious results. Club semi-pro Tschumi (1st female) and
esteemed bandy legged amateur El Worthy (3rd male - I assume)
leading the charge to magnificence in the 15k. James and Whome? held
off (almost singlehandedly) a field of 135. Together with a
small coterie of lesser (but equally valueless or valued -
depends how you look at it) Traktors they helped launch the team
to 2nd on the day and 7th overall in the series.
Full results available , Traks ran in the 5, 10 and 15k
events.
 it's
just a forum, I can handle it...
A funny thing happened on the way to the
forum...
Well after years of diligent neglect and
underexertion Ubertroll Youngman has set-up a spiffing new forum
for our beloved Clubnation.
The Traks Forum is the
rocking place to be if you are a rock. Come along, sign
up, choose a silly name, a picture of your favourite vegetable
and a groovy tagline. Then proceed to flame every "sensible"
comment in sight, eventually get bored and start acting like
adults (as if) by spelling "misquoted" correctly. Don't you just
love forums?
Try it out and help shape it's future direction
with your input on all matter triathletic (and pretty much
anything else).
A few hardy stalwarts have been beta testing and
laying topics like Claymores. It's up to you - use it and make
it something positive, fun, happening, vibrant and active. Don't
use it and suffer years of uncertainty and looking over your
shoulder...easy choice really.
There are already
20 members listed so
register now and make your voice heard above the apathy of
silence! Game on crew...
Another Year passeth
Memberships due from 1st of April. The massive
sum of 10 of your British pounds secures another year of elite
action within our ever bloated ranks. Or else you might receive
a visit from the management - more interesting and a lot more
painful. Photo Membership Cards require photos (of you please
not your cat or next doors parakeet). Either email a pic or give
me a hardcopy to scan, whatever I will endeavour to portray you
in the most foul light possible (and that's quite hard to
improve on with some of you).
One course to bind them all...
The esteemed and eagerly anticipated BRCC Evening
League TT revs up again from Thursday 3rd May for 14 weeks.
The two courses (nominally 10 and 12m) are used
alternately and your best 5 times from each accumulate to give
your overall standing. Triathletes comprise a large number of
the competitors and will with luck scoop many of the top places,
See
last years numbers if you want an idea of who does what to
whom and how fast they get away with it.
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June
07 2007
